5 Things I Did Not Expect from No Contact

No Contact is a term I didn’t even grasp at the time I decided to do it. I had finally had it with my ex-husband’s email attacks and my often uncontrollable responses to them. I was fed up with his harassing phone calls and middle-of-the-night text tirades. I knew I had the right as a citizen to not have to put up with that bullshit from anybody, and he was no exception. I knew he had full access to the children through their cell phones and finally, one day in April 2012, blocked him from every method of accessing me directly. I sent him notice that any communication with me would now be done through postal mail. Then I started getting piles of mail from him when he had not responded to a single letter of mine previously via mail. Some of them were even addressed to “Resident” in his handwriting. Yeah, those I sent right back unopened.

When I went NC, I really had not read any guidelines, or reasons for doing it, or even how to do it. This was just me drawing a line. Good or bad, I really had no expectations except that I would no longer be awakened by his rambling, drunken texts or accused by email of doing things that were so outrageous I couldn’t even grasp them. I particularly didn’t miss things like the email saying, “The grass is too long. Do you want me to call Richard to cut it? Oh, and the garbage cans have been out by the street for a week.” He was several states away.

So for better or worse, I didn’t know what to expect when I went NC, except that I knew it would probably drive him up a wall to not have instant access to me. Now, over four years later, I can safely say there are five things that happened which I did not expect from going NC.

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No Contact is Not as Simple as It Sounds
Dear SwanWaters – No contact
“Go Away” is a Complete Sentence

Check out more free resources in our Pint-Sized Healing Section.

Aubrey Cole

Aubrey Cole

I survived a quarter century of psychological, emotional, economic and sexual abuse. When I got out, I vowed to help others do the same and founded the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network project in 2012. Now, I offer hope and healing to others on their journey as they rediscover themselves. My forthcoming books, Bodies in the Basement and Define Winning, chronicle my experiences, escape, and recovery. There is nothing so special about me that others can't emerge and thrive.
Aubrey Cole

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No Contact is a term I didn’t even grasp at the time I decided to do it. So for better or worse, I didn’t know what to expect when I went NC...

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