While I expected that No Contact would give me more day-to-day respite from the crazy, I didn’t expect that I would feel so much better physically.

#5. – Energy to Devote To the Things I Wanted and Needed To Do

When I would field crazy calls or texts or emails from Captain Crazy, it would suck my energy dry. Many times these communications included false accusations and unprovoked attacks.

For a while, I would answer with logic and reason, which of course never worked. Then I would answer with a counter attack because I was so freaking sick of dealing with his garbage when he was the one who chose to move away.

Once I went No Contact, it occurred to me that I was sleeping better, I had more focus, and I didn’t jump when my phone rang or text chimed. I was able to concentrate much better on my graduate school work, and be a more energetic and focused parent for my girls. We also had a lot more fun in general because I wasn’t one raw nerve all the time.

So, while I expected that No Contact would give me more day-to-day respite from the crazy, I didn’t expect that I would feel so much better physically.

Remember that No Contact is not a punishment toward the abuser; punishments don’t work with them, anyway. No Contact is a reward for you! It is a way of putting yourself first, which also benefits those you love.

You start to regain your true self and your clouded view of the world begins to clear.

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Aubrey Cole

Aubrey Cole

I survived a quarter century of psychological, emotional, economic and sexual abuse. When I got out, I vowed to help others do the same and founded the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network project in 2012. Now, I offer hope and healing to others on their journey as they rediscover themselves. My forthcoming books, Bodies in the Basement and Define Winning, chronicle my experiences, escape, and recovery. There is nothing so special about me that others can't emerge and thrive.

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  Want to learn more about No Contact? Check out the Healing Academy Module.

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