Everybody knows those moments of boredom (although I prefer to think of it as relaxation), when the only thing that will do is a random personality quiz that one of your friends on Facebook has just completed. How did you die in a previous life? Which superhero are you most like? Or which dog breed are you?
There’s Nothing You Can Do That Can’t Be Done
I have been thinking a lot about this song recently. Your partner, your parent, and your siblings should love you. Shouldn’t that be the basis of the relationships we have? We have an expectation of love being present in these relationships. Love, especially from romantic partners and family members, gives us validation. Support and empathy feed our confidence, our self-esteem, and helps us deal with the challenges in life.
Nothing You Can Sing That Can’t Be Sung
Living in a home without love is so detrimental. When that love is absent and even replaced by the toxic needs of our abuser, we learn to misinterpret love. We learn that love hurts, that love means tolerating put downs, that love comes with strings attached. We learn not to love ourselves. We learn that we are failures. We gradually start to believe that we are incapable of anything. Emotional abuse is a gradual process in which we slowly but surely lose our voices. Our abuser makes us doubt our inner-voice and makes us scared to speak our minds.
Nothing You Can Do, But You Can Learn How To Be You In Time
And so, recovering from emotional abuse means finding your voice. By sharing our stories on SwanWaters, we help each other. We learn how to deal with our memories. We give each other suggestions on how to deal with our abusers, too. The love of fellow survivors gives us validation, builds our self-esteem, and gives us the confidence to be our own person.
I honestly think the Beatles were not that far off when they said:
All You Need Is Love (Papapapada)