While I expected that No Contact would give me more day-to-day respite from the crazy, I didn’t expect that I would feel so much better physically.
I did not think there was more full-on crazy, but me going No Contact revealed a whole new level. It was a relief to see that I was clearly not the problem.
By going No Contact, I blocked his ability to turn me inside out emotionally on a dime. So while it brought out the crazy in him, it helped me balance
I didn’t see this coming: People who didn’t understand what No Contact actually is and wanted to lecture me about how I should “find a way to get along.”
No Contact is a term I didn’t even grasp at the time I decided to do it. So for better or worse, I didn’t know what to expect when I went NC…
It took many years for me to understand that guilt and shame are two entirely different things with vastly different impacts.
So let me start by saying that the positive we will we consider here is not some perky-pants denial accompanied by a chirpy, “Oh, I’m fine!” Why? You aren’t fine.
Here’s where the uninformed become proxy abusers: when they assume that No Contact is another version of “I’m punishing you so I’m not going to talk to you.”
When living with an abusive partner, your “fight or flight” response is always at a heightened state, keeping your brain in a constant mode of anxiety. So it’s no wonder we get sick more often
I truly don’t remember a time in my life when I did not feel shame. We’re not talking about the same thing as guilt.