The demands and expectations my abuser had surrounding the holidays were stressful. My life’s much happier and more peaceful since shaking off those demands
Once I got myself and my girls away from him, I realized we would have to create new traditions. I didn’t want to keep up the same things out of habit when most of those things sucked the joy right out of my holidays.
There is so much freedom in that kind of forgiveness, rather than the type of forgiveness that kept us emotionally enslaved.
So let me start by saying that the positive we will we consider here is not some perky-pants denial accompanied by a chirpy, “Oh, I’m fine!” Why? You aren’t fine.
Here’s where the uninformed become proxy abusers: when they assume that No Contact is another version of “I’m punishing you so I’m not going to talk to you.”
No Contact is a term I didn’t even grasp at the time I decided to do it. So for better or worse, I didn’t know what to expect when I went NC…
It’s July 4, Independence Day here in the U.S. So many people in our country, however, are not free yet. They suffer in silence and hide in plain sight.
No one reading this who has experience with an abuser, particularly narcissistic parents, is surprised by this. That in itself is tragic.
Even if you don’t have full-blown PTSD (and I sure hope you don’t), these can be adapted to help with any traumatic or high-stress situation.
When living with an abusive partner, your “fight or flight” response is always at a heightened state, keeping your brain in a constant mode of anxiety. So it’s no wonder we get sick more often