You’ve heard it said that great sex begins in the brain. When your mind is clouded with sadness, desperation and fear, how can you have room for intimacy?
I feel so sad that my daughter, who has spent only 11 days with her father since last November, was unhappy enough to insist on cutting their time short by 2 days.
I expect any responsible parent to make logical parenting choices that don’t interfere with the well-being and safety of their children. When those choices are made based only on what the adult wants (narcissism), it makes me nuts.
Remember that when you are dealing with your abuser you will need to have a clear idea for yourself of what you consider a “winning” outcome.
When I first liberated myself from the abuse, I thought that was the biggest step. Several months later I realized clearly that this was not the end, but the beginning of another challenge. Healing.
I promise you that every time your abuser perceives you to grow and/or move on, there will be retaliation. Be prepared.
Why, oh why, you ask did I end up going back to him A-GAIN? Insecurity, fear…? This is how we go round and round the cycle of abuse.
The purpose of love bombing is to overwhelm you with emotions that you perceive as positive, when in fact they are intended to retrain your thinking.
Unfortunately for us, we become such good liars over time that when we can finally liberate ourselves from the abuse, we are often greeted by such shock and disbelief that some people accuse us of making up the entire thing.
One of the things we survivors of abuse have in common is the inability to get our abuser to just go away after the relationship is over.