No one reading this who has experience with an abuser, particularly narcissistic parents, is surprised by this. That in itself is tragic.
In all our articles about healing and recovery we talk about finding balance. We have all found ways to find balance and grounding, that help us with the triggers, the painful memories, the guilt and the self-sabotage.
PTSD really is a normal response to trauma. In this PTSD podcast Aubrey and Monkey talk about everything from what it is, to how it can manifest.
When feeling anxiety we can't understand where the fear is originated, or differentiate between fake and real threads. Everything becomes life or death
When living with an abusive partner, your “fight or flight” response is always at a heightened state, keeping your brain in a constant mode of anxiety. So it’s no wonder we get sick more often
In my experience it has been far harder to deal with the Flying Monkey, than with the actual abuser(s). I felt far more confused, hurt and unbalanced after encounters, than I did for example in the aftermath of no contact.
I decided to do something very different. I made a list of all the reasons I had for working so hard at my recovery.
Does it sound weird that I am now finding pride in my history of abuse? Why though? Why would I not be?
That’s what happens when you spend your days in an emotional foxhole, trying to anticipate another person’s moods and make sense of crazy
Even when survivors distance themselves from a toxic person, we often still hear their voice in our heads, drowning out our own inner-voice and reaffirming the doubt that was planted a long time ago. In effect, we have a bully in our head.