So let me start by saying that the positive we will we consider here is not some perky-pants denial accompanied by a chirpy, “Oh, I’m fine!” Why? You aren’t fine.
I think one of my mother’s favorite defenses was: I was only trying to help. It is a great anger stopper. How can you continue to yell at someone who was only trying to help? However misguided the help, she was acting with the best of intentions. Right? Wrong!
There are days when you think nothing would be more satisfying than stooping to their level. Please climb back up to that high road if you can manage…
When you first think of going no contact with your abuser, you may think that it’s as simple as just ignoring the phone calls. There is more to it than that.
Negative experiences are part of life, and they do not really mean anything. Most people can shrug these experiences off quite easily, but with a bully in your head, it is all too easy to follow your own thoughts down the Whirlpool of Depression. So what we need to do is evict the bully! Shut them up and we will be able to simply move past the negative experience and continue on our merry way.
When abuse never takes any physical form, it can be tough to feel sure it ever happened. After all, everybody makes mistakes… no parent is perfect. Right?
For the longest time I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. I never thought I could be happy.
Whenever I feel like this whole “history of parental emotional abuse” is getting me down, I like to focus on the positive lessons I learned from my toxic parents. Even if I learned them the hard way.
In this podcast about my no contact anniversary, I talk about more complicated emotions like anger and guilt, and how sometimes we feel tired of recovery.
There are a few reasons why celebrating your success is important. All of them are worth your while, and all of them will make your healing journey easier.