I did not feel comfortable calling my past abuse. Why? Probably because like so many people, I only associated the word abuse with sexual or physical abuse. Abuse is emotional, verbal, financial… it is any situation where a person is marginalized, made to feel insignificant, unworthy, unlovable and unimportant.
“Why did she not leave?” seems the standard in talking about abuse. We need to stop that. Why not ask “why he abuse her?” or even better “how can I help?”
Growing up with an emotionally unavailable parent is far from normal. Yet in order to survive you will have convinced yourself that things were normal.
Today is Have a Bad Day Day, I wasn’t aware there was a specific date for this. I have bad days more than once annually, and I am sure that is not just me.
I have left a family behind when I decided that enough was enough. Since then I have gathered a group of close friends around me, all of whom I consider my True Family, my family of choice.
Since I have been away from my family, I have not missed them even for a single second. If there had been love, there had been grief.
If it was not for my friends, I would have been lost. I’d not have been able to even leave my family, or make it through the healing either.
Maybe I confused anger for bitterness. I assumed that being angry somehow made me trapped in the toxic environment.
The abuser’s echo are overwhelming, and can make you despair. On days when those echos are loud, the doubt may creep back in.
I was engaged in a war at home against myself, my family, the lies, the pain. I was fearful, angry, heartbroken, insecure, stressed, always on full alert…