I often talk about healing from trauma in terms of learning, because I think that is really what this boils down to. We learn to better understand our own story and how it influenced and influences us. We learn to recognize our triggers. We learn to respond to those triggers in better ways, We learn how to have a healthier relationship with the people we love, and most of all we learn how to have a better relationship with ourselves. We learn self-care and boundaries, and the list goes on. Yeah, basically you are enrolled in ‘Me 101’.
Our self-talk can be absolutely brutal. But why is that? We are most definitely capable of compassion, why do we struggle so much with self-compassion?
It took many years for me to understand that guilt and shame are two entirely different things with vastly different impacts.
Mags shares some concepts and tools that she finds useful when trying to be resilient while experiencing complex (negative) emotions.
I feel pretty confident that the whole SwanWaters team will give you are resounding YES! Helping others is at the core of our organization.
When you first think of going no contact with your abuser, you may think that it’s as simple as just ignoring the phone calls. There is more to it than that.
In this podcast about my no contact anniversary, I talk about more complicated emotions like anger and guilt, and how sometimes we feel tired of recovery.
Here’s where the uninformed become proxy abusers: when they assume that No Contact is another version of “I’m punishing you so I’m not going to talk to you.”
I truly don’t remember a time in my life when I did not feel shame. We’re not talking about the same thing as guilt.
Even when survivors distance themselves from a toxic person, we often still hear their voice in our heads, drowning out our own inner-voice and reaffirming the doubt that was planted a long time ago. In effect, we have a bully in our head.