My forgiveness has nothing to do with them, and everything with me.
I truly don’t remember a time in my life when I did not feel shame. We’re not talking about the same thing as guilt.
When we talk about SwanWaters, we often explain it as a place of support and validation. There is a reason why we specifically highlight validation, because it fulfills a multitude of important functions in the process of recovery.
Even when survivors distance themselves from a toxic person, we often still hear their voice in our heads, drowning out our own inner-voice and reaffirming the doubt that was planted a long time ago. In effect, we have a bully in our head.
There are so very many truths about healing from abuse, and we talk about many. There are a few insights that really had a positive impact on my journey.
There may be days that you feel you will never truly recover from the abuse. Feeling overwhelmed is understandable, but not conducive to your healing. So how do you get back in the driver’s seat?
Learning to recognize the hidden message is paramount when you are trying to free yourself from a toxic person’s influence so we created an Abuse Dictionary
Once I had cleared safe airspace from Captain Crazy of the S.S. Melodrama, I took an inventory, which led me to learning to love and nurture myself again. Here are the things I assessed
Not allowing forgiveness to apply to ourselves is like holding a grudge against ourselves for getting wet in the rain.
Not many people truly understand the enormous undertaking that is abuse recovery. They cannot relate to the heartbreak of it