Responding to bad news or difficult life circumstances is always tricky, and this one is especially complex. So, I will take you through it step by step.
The idea that abuse does not happen behind white picket fences or always leaves bruises is just something we tell ourselves. It makes it easier to process. It means we can think of an abuser as a monster, instead of a neighbor.
I feel pretty confident that the whole SwanWaters team will give you are resounding YES! Helping others is at the core of our organization.
Wish you could make your child to see their abusive spouse, your siblings to see your toxic parents? No matter the context, if they’re not ready they won’t see the abuse. Here are some ways in which you can support someone you love.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I dislike that saying, because guess what: it was words that beat me to a pulp every day
I find myself typing about PTSD, and how it gets to turn a funny, loving, and positive person, into a blubbering fool who is ready to just give up.
I read that snippet of advice recently and it just struck a chord with me. How simple a dividing line is that? Over the past year, I began to consciously contemplate and apply that quote to my daily life, and to my surprise the happiness and peace in my life increased significantly.
When we talk about SwanWaters, we often explain it as a place of support and validation. There is a reason why we specifically highlight validation, because it fulfills a multitude of important functions in the process of recovery.
Even when survivors distance themselves from a toxic person, we often still hear their voice in our heads, drowning out our own inner-voice and reaffirming the doubt that was planted a long time ago. In effect, we have a bully in our head.
Even the most well-meaning person, if not the survivor of abuse, can ask themselves why did she not leave the situation? (Or he of course, since men are targets of domestic abuse too) After all, it’s a logical question, particularly when the target stays in the abusive relationship sometimes for decades. It’s so incredibly hard to understand if you have not lived it, but for those of us who have, there are four common reasons behind why we stay.