Responding to bad news or difficult life circumstances is always tricky, and this one is especially complex. So, I will take you through it step by step.
The idea that abuse does not happen behind white picket fences or always leaves bruises is just something we tell ourselves. It makes it easier to process. It means we can think of an abuser as a monster, instead of a neighbor.
I feel pretty confident that the whole SwanWaters team will give you are resounding YES! Helping others is at the core of our organization.
I find myself typing about PTSD, and how it gets to turn a funny, loving, and positive person, into a blubbering fool who is ready to just give up.
Even when survivors distance themselves from a toxic person, we often still hear their voice in our heads, drowning out our own inner-voice and reaffirming the doubt that was planted a long time ago. In effect, we have a bully in our head.
Even the most well-meaning person, if not the survivor of abuse, can ask themselves why did she not leave the situation? (Or he of course, since men are targets of domestic abuse too) After all, it’s a logical question, particularly when the target stays in the abusive relationship sometimes for decades. It’s so incredibly hard to understand if you have not lived it, but for those of us who have, there are four common reasons behind why we stay.
Survivors of abuse feel isolated by the dysfunctional chaos around them, and think escape is impossible. Connecting with peers is key to the healing journey
Alas most of you can relate to the duality of living with abuse. Covering up the scars – visible or not. Never showing your fears or anxiety.
Indulge me, and reflect on that for a second. What you are effectively asking me to do is forgive and forget the first 30+ years of my life.
People may be miles apart, there is little difference in how emotional abuse is perpetrated. This list will help you spot the emotional abuser in your life.