A picture is a freeze frame, a moment perfectly preserved. But does that picture represent what is actually going on? Or is it used to manipulate perceptions, and make life seems something different than it is?
For the longest time I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. I never thought I could be happy.
In this podcast about my no contact anniversary, I talk about more complicated emotions like anger and guilt, and how sometimes we feel tired of recovery.
There are a few reasons why celebrating your success is important. All of them are worth your while, and all of them will make your healing journey easier.
Here’s where the uninformed become proxy abusers: when they assume that No Contact is another version of “I’m punishing you so I’m not going to talk to you.”
I don’t think that acceptance is about pretending the abuse was not painful and unnecessary. I just think that wishing it never happened does not help us.
There are people who will aim others at their chosen target. This gang mentality is a way to rationalize the abuse since it isn’t being delivered directly.
This is not about arguing what’s right or wrong, or what’s in the legal orders. Those things are black and white. This is about CREATING modes of attack when all other means have been exhausted.
My forgiveness has nothing to do with them, and everything with me.
Even when survivors distance themselves from a toxic person, we often still hear their voice in our heads, drowning out our own inner-voice and reaffirming the doubt that was planted a long time ago. In effect, we have a bully in our head.