This week, that memory came back to me. Not because the hashtag triggered me necessarily, but because I was very hesitant to add my #metoo.
When living with an abusive partner, your “fight or flight” response is always at a heightened state, keeping your brain in a constant mode of anxiety. So it’s no wonder we get sick more often
In my experience it has been far harder to deal with the Flying Monkey, than with the actual abuser(s). I felt far more confused, hurt and unbalanced after encounters, than I did for example in the aftermath of no contact.
I truly don’t remember a time in my life when I did not feel shame. We’re not talking about the same thing as guilt.
Remember that when you are dealing with your abuser you will need to have a clear idea for yourself of what you consider a “winning” outcome.
One of the things we survivors of abuse have in common is the inability to get our abuser to just go away after the relationship is over.
As you walk this road recovery, know that it’s perfectly fine to have those moments of mourning. You lost something and it was huge. Grief is normal
Growing up with an emotionally unavailable parent is far from normal. Yet in order to survive you will have convinced yourself that things were normal.
The target spends so much time living for the abuser, trying to anticipate every need and whim, the core of who they are becomes hidden, it’s identity theft
Fear is an emotion of negative influence and the sooner you learn to push past the fear and recognize it for what it is, you will find new peace.