In the aftermath of abuse, we have to deal with a lot of complicated emotions. These emotions are often labeled as negative, but I think mostly they are just complex and confusing. Joy, happiness, and gratitude are easy. They are fluffy and nice, and we all want to feel those emotions a lot. Anger, guilt, and shame are prickly and they don’t feel comfortable, and so we want to avoid feeling those emotions.
Emotions are not positive or negative, they just are. They are messengers, and doesn’t the saying go: don’t shoot the messenger? It is up to us to listen to our emotions and deal with the underlying issues. Are the emotions even ours, or are they echoes of our abusers’ pain (no healthy happy person is an abuser, not an excuse but purely a cause and effect type deal).
Below are some useful links to resources about the more complex emotions, and how you can deal with them effectively. If I have missed out your favorite resource, add a link in the comments section below.
How these Emotions Can Have a Negative Effect
Accomplishments don’t erase shame, hatred, cruelty, silence, ignorance, discrimination, low self-esteem or immorality. It covers it up, with a creative version of pride and ego. Only restitution, forgiving yourself and others, compassion, repentance and living with dignity will ever erase the past. – From Gratitude and Trust
How to Listen to and Regulate Your Emotions
Did we miss your favorite resource? Leave a link in the comments!