In the aftermath of abuse, we have to deal with a lot of complicated emotions. They are often labeled as negative, but I think they are just complex

In the aftermath of abuse, we have to deal with a lot of complicated emotions. These emotions are often labeled as negative, but I think mostly they are just complex and confusing. Joy, happiness, and gratitude are easy. They are fluffy and nice, and we all want to feel those emotions a lot. Anger, guilt, and shame are prickly and they don’t feel comfortable, and so we want to avoid feeling those emotions.

Emotions are not positive or negative, they just are. They are messengers, and doesn’t the saying go: don’t shoot the messenger? It is up to us to listen to our emotions and deal with the underlying issues. Are the emotions even ours, or are they echoes of our abusers’ pain (no healthy happy person is an abuser, not an excuse but purely a cause and effect type deal).

Below are some useful links to resources about the more complex emotions, and how you can deal with them effectively. If I have missed out your favorite resource, add a link in the comments section below.

In the aftermath of abuse, we have to deal with a lot of complicated emotions. They are often labeled as negative, but I think they are just complex

Emotional Complications

Guilt vs. Shame – 3 Ways to Unravel Their Emotional Grip

Blame and Responsibility

Heartbreak of Emotionally Abusive Parents

Pondering Grief and Death

Fear, Obligation, and Guilt (FOG) After Narcissistic Abuse

The Beach, My Soul, and My Shame

Stages of Grief from a Psychopathic Relationship

The Invincible Triggers

When Your Past Creeps Up On You


In the aftermath of abuse, we have to deal with a lot of complicated emotions. They are often labeled as negative, but I think they are just complex

How these Emotions Can Have a Negative Effect

Accomplishments don’t erase shame, hatred, cruelty, silence, ignorance, discrimination, low self-esteem or immorality. It covers it up, with a creative version of pride and ego. Only restitution, forgiving yourself and others, compassion, repentance and living with dignity will ever erase the past. – From Gratitude and Trust

How complaining physically rewires your brain to be anxious and depressed

Depression After Narcissistic Abuse Sucks!

9 Mental Habits That Can Make You Feel Bitter

Why You Should Express, Not Suppress, Your Negative Emotions


In the aftermath of abuse, we have to deal with a lot of complicated emotions. They are often labeled as negative, but I think they are just complex

How to Listen to and Regulate Your Emotions

How to Stay Resilient When Bombarded With Negative Emotions

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

5 Ways to Get Your Unwanted Emotions Under Control

The Evolution of Guilt After Cutting Contact

How To Stop Being A Slave To Your Emotions

Regulating Your Emotions

5 Tips for Lifting Depression after Your Abusive Relationship

Did we miss your favorite resource? Leave a link in the comments!

we love to read your comments below

Mags

Mags

Having gained experience while working for a variety of European non-profits, I am proud to now work with SwanWaters. My connection with the website is not only professional. I am glad to tap into my personal experiences to help those who are living in toxic relationships whether with parents, partners or in their professional life. We need to make the world more aware of the devastating effects of emotional abuse and help more people on their way to heal and thrive.
Mags

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