How comfortable do you think a medieval knight was in his full armor? Chain maille is heavy, as is a suit of arms to be honest. Dragging all that extra weight around, restricting his movement and his view of the world. Still it kept him safe from sword blows, lance attacks, and even from arrows. So it made sense that he kept that armor on when he was heading for the fight.
But imagine that he couldn’t take his armor off. How would he be able to eat, sleep, bathe or do anything to keep himself happy and healthy in peace time?
Seriously armor has it’s uses, but there comes a time to take it off.
Weighing Myself Down
Growing up within a toxic family meant I was in a constant state of emotional warfare. Unsurprisingly, I developed my own personal emotional armor to protect me from the constant folly of attack. This armor took many forms, and encompassed anything from the preemptive strike, to extreme people pleasing. The most prevalent feature was to simply stop connecting to my emotions.
What I don’t feel, I don’t have to deal with.
Much of my life I spend with my head firmly in the sand. The only way for a person, and especially a child, to survive a toxic family situation, is to block out what is really going on. Yet as longs as we refuse to deal with the experiences and emotions it brings, we are likely to repeat the toxic pattern.
Just as much as we need to address behavioral patterns we developed from the abuse, we have to address the emotional strategies we have put in place.
You Have More Control Than You Think
We often think that emotions are environmentally triggered. After all, when we encounter a bad situation, we feel negative emotions such as fear, anger or anxiety. And when we are in good situations we feel joy, love or gratitude. In fact it is a little bit more complex than that…The rest of this article is available to members only. Join today to gain access.