medieval body armor

How comfortable do you think a medieval knight was in his full armor? Chain maille is heavy, as is a suit of arms to be honest. Dragging all that extra weight around, restricting his movement and his view of the world. Still it kept him safe from sword blows, lance attacks, and even from arrows. So it made sense that he kept that armor on when he was heading for the fight.

But imagine that he couldn’t take his armor off. How would he be able to eat, sleep, bathe or do anything to keep himself happy and healthy in peace time?

Seriously armor has it’s uses, but there comes a time to take it off.

Weighing Myself Down

Growing up within a toxic family meant I was in a constant state of emotional warfare. Unsurprisingly, I developed my own personal emotional armor to protect me from the constant folly of attack. This armor took many forms, and encompassed anything from the preemptive strike, to extreme people pleasing. The most prevalent feature was to simply stop connecting to my emotions.

What I don’t feel, I don’t have to deal with.

Much of my life I spend with my head firmly in the sand. The only way for a person, and especially a child, to survive a toxic family situation, is to block out what is really going on. Yet as longs as we refuse to deal with the experiences and emotions it brings, we are likely to repeat the toxic pattern.

Just as much as we need to address behavioral patterns we developed from the abuse, we have to address the emotional strategies we have put in place.

You Have More Control Than You Think

We often think that emotions are environmentally triggered. After all, when we encounter a bad situation, we feel negative emotions such as fear, anger or anxiety. And when we are in good situations we feel joy, love or gratitude. In fact it is a little bit more complex than that…

The rest of this article is available to members only. Join today to gain access.

we love to read your comments below

Monkey

Monkey

Having gained experience while working for a variety of European non-profits, I am proud to now work with SwanWaters. My connection with the website is not only professional. I am glad to tap into my personal experiences to help those who are living in toxic relationships whether with parents, partners or in their professional life. We need to make the world more aware of the devastating effects of emotional abuse and help more people on their way to heal and thrive.
Monkey

Latest posts by Monkey (see all)

Growing up within a toxic family meant I was in a constant state of emotional warfare. Unsurprisingly I developed my own personal emotional armor to protect me from the constant folly of attack.

One comment:

  1. Profile photo of Aubrey Cole
    Aubrey Cole

    March 25, 2015 at 9:17 pm

    The very hardest part is accepting that being vulnerable is okay. Once you realize that your vulnerability was used against you, it is natural to be very fearful. However, as the article points out, when you actively disconnect from your vulnerability (emotions, etc.), you are disconnecting from the rest of humanity. You need other humans. You just don’t need other toxic humans.

    Reply

Leave a Reply


Concerns or Questions?

See our FAQs page or submit a question to our support team - we're here and happy to help.

Ask a Question
Newsletter

Subscribe to receive special offers and the latest news delivered to your inbox for free.

SIGN INTO YOUR ACCOUNT

Your privacy is important to us and we will never rent or sell your information.

 
×
FORGOT YOUR DETAILS?
×

Go up