What is a Swan?Current statistics indicate that 10% of the world’s population may suffer from some form of personality disorder, many more from depression and others from generational effects of parental neglect and abuse. Emotional abuse is extremely common, often mixed with physical or sexual abuse.
For most of us, loving our children is as natural as the air we breathe. But for some parents, whether from mental illness, depression or other reasons this does not come naturally. Most people can think of someone they know that grew up with a parent like this, maybe it is you. We are some of those people; we are Swans.
It may also be helpful to read the following two pages for more info:
Are there common traits of the 'emotionally unavailable' and 'narcissistic' care giver or parent?That’s a very common question and in fact one of the first we usually hear. We have an article which contains more info regarding these traits – called ‘What is a Trouble Person?’. And, of course, there are many opportunities to discuss in the forums – a common topic for discussion.
My spouse/friend/loved one is struggling - how can I help?Please tell them about this site and be prepared to discuss. We’re compiling resources for folks like you who would want to understand and lend support. Check out these articles where a common theme is ‘how do I help?’ – hopefully these will help with gaining perspective and providing coping tools.
What about my personal privacy?Your privacy is safe with us. Your email address remains hidden. Your profile you will set up contains as much information as you want to share. The username you choose is your choice. Note: if you have a Gravatar account associated with the email address you use when you sign up, then it will make a connection and show the Gravatar picture you previously selected. So, it’s probably best to use an email address that is not connected with a Gravatar account unless you want to use the same avatar/picture of course. But, this is easily changed at any point. Contact us if you have any questions at all.
Also, your access to parts of our website (like the community pages, members and forums) are protected by a user name and a password. Do not give your password to anyone. If you enter a section of our website that requires a password, you should log out when you leave your computer. As a safety precaution, you should also close out of your web browser completely and re-open it before viewing other parts of the Internet.
Similar to using a banking website or mobile app: if you have your computer or mobile device remember your username and password so you are always logged in – there is a confidentiality risk if someone you know uses your computer/device. It’s normal to want to use this ‘remember me’ feature because it’s incredibly convenient to not have enter your password every time. But, please be aware of the ramifications if your computer or device is shared with others.
How does the 'online chatting' feature work?Chatting is fantastically convenient and a wonderful perk of being a member of our site. It’s wonderful for connecting in real time and connecting with others and giving and receiving support immediately. Chatting is only available to members. Once logged in, you will see it at the bottom of your screen – very much like the chat feature in Facebook.
You will receive a chatting notification at the bottom of your screen when someone is trying to chat with you. If the recipient is not online when the chat message is sent (you or your friend), then the message is stored and sent as soon as the recipient logs back into the community.
What is 'messaging' exactly?Messaging is private and similar to email. Within the community, you are able to not only participate in the many forum discussions going on at any given moment. You can also send messages privately to other members for various reasons – connecting and discussing private topics for example.
You will receive notifications at the top of your screen (you can’t miss them) when you receive a ‘message’.
I'd like to suggest a new group for the community - who do I contact?Great idea! Please share this with one of the admins in chat or click here and submit your idea with our contact form.
Why Can't I Log in?So, you’ve just joined, and paid for a membership so you should be logged in already but you’re not. And, when you try to log in, it just doesn’t work and redirects you to the homepage.
First, check to make sure that ‘cookies‘ are enabled in your browser. Without cookies, you won’t be able to log in – they’re a very important part of membership sites.
Second, try the ‘forgot my password’ option. Maybe there was a typo when you created your password. If all else fails, contact us and we’ll sort it out
Important Question Here: How Do I Change my Avatar :)Click on ‘Profile’ in the upper right corner of the page. On the next page, click ‘Profile’ under where your picture is (or would go). Next, click on “Change Avatar’ and you are on your way!!
How Do I Change my Profile Info or Name as it appears?Click on ‘Profile’ in the upper right corner of the page. On the next page, click ‘Profile’ under where your picture is (or would go). Next, click on “Edit’ and you are on your way!!
Change your name, location, hobbies, language preference, and your ‘about me’ description – all in this same place!
Why is There a Charge to Join?In our effort to protect the privacy of our members and their conversations, the site requires maintenance and moderation (by live human beings). Free internet community sites are free typically because they are gathering your personal info and selling it to outside advertisers. We will not do that.
And, we are providing an ad-free environment as well.