There are so few people who really understand how long and difficult a journey healing is. Once you leave an abusive situation, people just assume you are “over it”. And if you are not, than your should pull yourself together, and “get over it”.
Oh, if only it was that simple. I would pick that over the reality of abuse recovery any time.
Let me explain it in terms that you may understand, even if you have not experienced abuse. Imagine that you are a Mac computer, but some very disturbed IT guy installed Windows Vista as your operating system. All the connections are wrong. Your Mac parts and your Windows programming simply do not line up, they cannot communicate properly. When you hit the space bar, you type a w instead.
That is what it is like. Abuse is a way in which a toxic person destroys your programming. Your responses to everything are off. You cannot understand the signals of your own body and mind, you may struggle to connect to other people and build friendships and relationships. And if you think there are many buttons on a computer, just imagine how many connections there are in your body and mind. Sometimes you are not even sure if it is a bad connection, or spyware. Still wonder why it takes so long to override that programming? Testing and reconnecting every single aspect, it takes time.
The healing journey from abuse is not an easy one. It takes time, lots of strength and patience. Going it alone is next to impossible, so gather a group of good friends around you. Finding support and validation from peers is of great value too, so join us SwanWaters to get access to our forums and live chat (and at 50% off this moth!)