What’s Going On?!

Women are expanding the heart through a magnifying glass

Someone keeping you on edge and off balance?

A parent, partner or co-worker? You can meet toxic people anywhere. They are bullies or even abusers… Dealing with those people is tricky.

We know what that is like, because we have been there.


Trying to figure out if you are dealing with an abuser?
Want to understand what is going on in your family or relationship?
You have come to the right place.

Join the Discussion MailchimpHere you will:

  • Find information about emotional abuse(rs)
  • Get to grips with toxic people and the abuse dynamic
  • Learn abusive strategies and how they affect you
That’s not what I am looking for

Our Top 3 Resources

20 traits Perceived Perfection of Abusers 7 Personal Rights Abusers Don’t Respect


More Articles Like These

Below is an overview of articles that will help your understanding of what is going on. There is a lot there, so we organized it into some categories. You will probably find that you want to take in the information in increments, and you may feel an urge to talk through the things you are learning and how they relate to you. Join our Community of Survivors to talk about your story and get help understanding what’s going on.

1 1 Toxic People

Toxic People

One thing that we at SwanWaters.com have learned is that while survivors may be thousands of miles apart, the strategies used by their emotional abuser are eerily similar. These articles tell you about the basic personality traits and behaviors of toxic people, bullies and abusers.

20 Traits of Emotional Abusers

7 Personal Rights Abusers Don’t Respect

Emotional Bullies

Everybody Makes Mistakes…

Love Those That Treat You Well, Avoid Those Who Don’t

Narcissus and Echo

Workplace Bullies Can Make You Forget Yourself


1 2 Toxic Families

Toxic Families

When you grow up with toxic or emotionally abusive parents, it can be very difficult to understand what is going on. The indoctrination begin from the moment you are born, and your frame of reference is entirely controlled by your family of origins. These articles can also be helpful when you are dealing with abuse in other settings.

5 Signs My Family Was Toxic

Are We Born Broken or Parented to Break?

Confusion of Living with an Emotionally Unavailable Parent 

Different Roles in a Toxic Family (podcast)

Realizing My Mother Doesn’t Love Me

For Lack of a Mother’s Love

Leaving the Nest

Many Faces of My Mother

Find more information about toxic families here.


1 3 Toxic Partners

Toxic Partners

If you are or have been in a toxic relationship, these articles will sound familiar to you! These articles will however also contain valuable information for people in other abusive settings, AND for people who want to support targets and survivors of abuse (more resources especially for those heroes here)

Bodies in the Basement (blog series & ebook)

If It’s Too Good To Be True, It’s Probably Love Bombing (podcast)

5 Ways Your Toxic Parent has Prepared You for a Toxic Partner

Talking Toxic Romance (podcast)

Misdirection: The Art of Love Bombing


1 4 Abuse Strategy

Abuse Strategies

The games and strategies that bullies and abusers use to manipulate and target people all follow certain patterns. It is actually a little weird how simelar our various stories are… Sometimes it feels like articles about abusive strategies are pages taken directly from the abusers manual…

The Arsenal Against You – Weapons of Abuse

Financial Abuse (podcast)

Gaslighting; Making You Think You Are Crazy

How Toxic People Use Rage, And What To Do About It

I’m Not Speaking To You! – The Extreme Silent Treatment

Killing Me Softly

How Toxic People Control You With Your Fears

The Ever Dangling Carrot, Identifying Manipulative Help

The World Upside Down: Parentification and Infantalization


1 5 Abuse Strategies

The Abusive Dynamic

Abuse and bullying is all about power and control. Abusers manipulate targets, enablers and even whole communities to benefit and hide their abuse. Here are some resources that will help you begin to unravel the dynamic that has been spun around you.

An Understanding of Enabling

Bullies versus The Brave 

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones

Survivor Couples

The Dynamic of a Toxic Family

The Enabling Parent

The Identified Patient (podcast)


1 6 Effects of Emotional Abuse

Effects of Emotional Abuse

The effects of emotional abuse are so often downplayed by the world. Realize though that any form of abuse will have emotional, mental and even physical effects on the target. In this section we begin to explore these effects.

An Introduction to PTSD and Toxic Relationships (podcast)

CPTSD & the Waves of Utter Despair

How Your Adverse Childhood Experiences Craft Your Adult Health and Relationships (podcast)

The ACE Study is Why (video)

Scars of the Soul: Effects of Emotional Abuse

Stockholm Syndrome and Emotional Abuse


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