Golden Buddha Statue

I was talking to a friend about this recently, and I admit that I have been guilty of this very thing. More than once I looked for misfortune to strike in the lives of my abusers. After all, isn’t Karma supposed to take care of them? How can such evil people lead such successful lives?

That’s Not Karma, That’s Revenge

First of all, you hoping for misfortune for those people that hurt you, that is not “cosmic justice”, that’s revenge. At some level, that is you trying to get even with them. Seriously though, I get it! Like I said, I have been there. The wish for revenge though is something that comes back to haunt you. It says something about your attitude and energy in the world. It also tells me that you are holding on to the pain.

Once you let go of the past. Once you have accepted and released the pain and injustice of it all, you will likely stop wishing Karma would hurry up and get to your abuser already. I mean, I just don’t care enough about them to really consider it. Whether they have a good life or a bad… All I care about is that I am no longer part of it. All I care about is how much better my life has become without their toxic influence.

What Constitutes a Bad Life Anyway

I think it is important to remember that what may look successful and happy to you, may be miserable to them. Maybe they are stuck in a loveless relationship. have kids they cannot connect with, work a job they hate just for the image it projects. I am not saying you should pity them. After all, they made their bed… I am just saying that a superficially successful life can hold much misery and pain. And we know that these people often pump all their efforts into making their life look good, it is a fair assumption there is stuff going on you cannot see.

Be More Concerned With Your Karma

Honestly, the only Karma that you should really be concerned about is your own. Your responsibility is to live the best life you can. Let your abusers worry about the consequences of their actions (or probably not!). Find the fulfillment in life that will evade them forever, courtesy of their inability to self-reflect and learn. Focusing on yourself, and your healing journey will only help you move on.

Do you remember when you were learning to drive a car, they told you this (or at least me): You drive towards what you are looking at, so look at the space, not the obstacle.

I think that may be good advice for your healing journey too.

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Having gained experience while working for a variety of European non-profits, I am proud to now work with SwanWaters. My connection with the website is not only professional. I am glad to tap into my personal experiences to help those who are living in toxic relationships whether with parents, partners or in their professional life. We need to make the world more aware of the devastating effects of emotional abuse and help more people on their way to heal and thrive.

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Hoping for misfortune for those people that have hurt you, is not Karma, that's revenge. The only Karma you should be concerned about is your own.

Hoping for misfortune for those people that have hurt you, is not Karma, that's revenge. The only Karma you should be concerned about is your own.


  1. Profile photo of scapechi

    August 26, 2015 at 9:28 am

    I was also someone that wished “karma” on those that hurt me, but now I focus on moving past the hurt, I feel it but I don’t dwell on it.

    • Profile photo of Monkey

      August 27, 2015 at 10:14 am

      I guess it is all part of the process. Focussing on your own healing is far more healthy, AND more effective too :)



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