Building a New Self

Outdoor portrait of a beautiful young brunette woman smiling happy

Now that you are free, who will you be?

While we are subjected to abuse, we become an extension of our abuser. We forget (and are made to forget) who we really are. Our likes and dislikes, our talents and weaknesses, our very personality becomes hijacked for the purpose of the abuser’s games.

Now is the time to find your new self and build a life you love.


Ready to go from surviving to thriving? This is the place for you.

Join the Discussion MailchimpHere you will:

  • Build confidence and self-esteem
  • Practice self-care
  • Learn about PTSD and how to deal with it
  • Focus on positivity and happiness (time to thrive!)
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You are out, you are free, you have made it through the swamp of your memories? Now it is time to build a new self and a new life. It is time to move from surviving to thriving! Below is an overview of our resources on how to make te most of your new life, and also how to deal with things when you past creeps up on you. Join our Community of Survivors to talk about your new life and the successes and challenges you encounter.

5 1 positive

Stay Positive

In the aftermath of abuse it can be only to easy to give into the negative thoughts and feelings. Staying positive may be challenging… it is also a great asset in your life. It give us the mental and emotional space to change our life for the better.However, positivity is NOT about simply pushing away the bad (that would be harmful) but about emphasizing the good. Read more about the benefits of positivity and learn how you too can add more positivity to your life.

3 Ways to Stay Positive (when life really sucks)

A Positive Mind Is a Joy Forever

Gratitude is an Attitude

How I Learned To Be Happy

Positivity Portfolio

Surviving vs Thriving

The Emotional Thermostat


5 2 PTSD

PTSD

Many survivors develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in the aftermath of abuse. Below is some information about PTSD, how it relates to abuse and how you can deal with some of the symptoms.

An Introduction to PTSD and Toxic Relationships (podcast)

Your Brain on PTSD

CPTSD & the Waves of Utter Despair

Demystifying the Idea of Balance for People Living with PTSD

“Stop, Drop, and Roll” Practical Strategies to Deal With PTSD

How Narcissistic Parents Destroy the Soul (trigger warning)

How Stress Becomes Fear and Anxiety

Rewriting PTSD Triggers

PTSD Is a Normal Response to Trauma

10 Tips For Supporting Someone With PTSD

We have collected a load of useful links relating to PTSD. Check it out.


5 3 new skills

Learning New Skills

With a new understanding of relationships, the world, ourselves… it is understandable that we have a lot of new skills to learn. Here are some resources to help you put your new life together.

Building Yourself From the Ground Up

Can Resiliency Be Learned? You Betcha!

6 Strategies To Say No

Compliment Your Mirror Day (about affirmations and mirror work)

How Abuse Made You a Perfectionist (and Why You Should Stop!)

How Does Resilience Help With Life’s Big Stuff? (podcast)

How to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

I Love Me, I Love Me Not

How Setting Goals (and Rewards) Helped Me Heal From Trauma

What I Learned About Saying No

Why I Needed Everyone’s Approval, And What I Did About It

How to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries (podcast)

Healing Mind, Heart and Spirit


5 4 new relationships

New Friendships and Relationships

In your new life, you will find new relationships. New friends, new co-workers or even new romantic partners. Or perhaps you will find that your existing relationships are changing as you heal. Here are some resources on how to deal with those new bounds.

A Letter About Change

I Trust You? I Trust You Not?

Learning to Trust Again (podcast)

Your Oxygen Mask Goes on First – Safely Helping Another Heal

3 Ways to Create New, Happier Traditions (Holidays)


5 5 karma and forgiveness

Acceptance, Forgiveness & Karma

These are all pretty big topics, and important ones to consider when you really want to leave the abuse behind you. Here are some of our thoughts and suggestions.

Force of Forgiveness

Just Because the High Road Is a Bit of a Climb… 

Let Karma Take Care Of It

Can You Ever Escape Your Past?

Never Tell Me to Forgive and Forget!

Save Your Energy for the Good Stuff

The Fragile Balance between Acceptance and Denial

Why there is Freedom in Forgiveness

Release the Past and Embrace the Future


5 6 self care and health

Self-Care and Health

Many survivors struggle with self-care. At some level our abusers have made us feel we are not worthy of loving ourselves and caring for ourselves. Or perhaps we just never learned the necessary skills. Here are some resources to help you understand and learn self-care and health.

Learning to Fly

Some Resources For Balance

The Benefits of Color on Health

Self-Limiting Beliefs and Weight

The Mind-Body Connection: How Holding Back Your Feelings Will Damage Your Health

The Self-Compassion Miracle


5 7 healing goals

My Healing Goals

It is great to talk about a healing journey, but what is the destination? Growing, learning and self-improvement are as much part of life as they are of our road to recovery.

When Will You Declare Victory?

Why Celebrating Your Success is Important

Will I Always Be a Survivor?

3 Powerful Steps to Reprogram Holiday Stress (but it works for other days too)

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