No contact is not always easy. There were times when I’d feel so utterly alone in the world, so disconnected.
People often assume that I am angry with my family, that I am throwing a hissy fit. I am not. I am not really anything at them anymore. I am just done allowing them to play games with me… They were always adding more drama!
A good while into no contact, my life hit an enormous dramatic twist, one where my life was actually in danger. Instead of my family of origins, it was my family of choice who gathered around me. The difference of that support was the only evidence I will ever need that I am better connected now than I ever was.
I love my soul siblings, they light up my day when we get to connect (which is pretty much every day, lucky me!). The contrast makes me realize that I did not have close loving ties to my family, I had nothing but sticky stinky strings. I used to be uneasy about sharing details of my life with them. I knew they would judge and make things worse. I confided in my sister once about an argument I had with my partner. “Go back to him and set him an ultimatum” she advised, and I did. Most stupid thing ever, but I am happy to report we made it through the ensuing drama.
Do you know what my soulmate sister tells me when I tell her about a fight? “Give him some time to cool down, and then sit down and talk about it”.
It is not my sisters’ fault, they too were manipulated into the toxic dynamic that my parents created for us. Yes that is sad, but I still do not let their sticky strings back in my life.