It has been many years since I have set New Year’s Resolutions, in fact I used to panic about any type of goal setting. Goals were just tools for my mother to make me feel like a failure. Because no matter how well or bad I did, it was never good enough. Even if I did manage to reach my goal it would be dismissed as ‘not ambitious enough’ or ‘unimportant’.
So, for a long time I just did not set goals. In my head I figured: No Goals = No Failure.
I know, I know! It does not work like that. In fact, I think I felt like a failure more, because I had no idea what constituted success. Without direction, when would you know you have arrived? Perhaps I was feeling like a failure, because all that guided me was to do lists, and as we all know those are somewhat eternal.
In the last year, I started playing around with goal setting more and more, In the last month I even recorded my ‘Goals for 2016’. They are not New Year’s Resolutions, they are the outline of where I want to go with my life. I altered my perception of a goal. Where before it was very much a number, a deadline or maybe even an intention to become a vegan yoga guru in one day flat, my goals are now much more about visualizing the life I want. Perhaps it is about prioritising family, or about feeling more in control of my workload. There are still some numbers too, but they don’t seem so intimidating. Perhaps because with the nature of the goals, my personal definition of success (and failure) has also shifted to a far kinder and loving one.
No longer do goals feel like judgemental tests of my commitment, they feel like exciting locations I have plotted on the map of my life.