Are You Ready for Christmas?

The holidays are not the easiest time of year, especially when dealing with a toxic family situation. It is like putting the toxic dynamic in a pressure cooker and waiting to see if (or rather when) it will explode.

There are ways to prepare and minimize the stress and hurt. Here are some of the resources we created over the years. Have a read through, and remember that preparing your boundaries and how you will protect them does help!


The Chill of Christmas

Antique Christmas Ornament
I had a lovely holiday, but I realize my parents still mess with my head a little at this time of year (It has been over two years since I last spoke to them). There is more than just a meteorological chill in the air. Random events seem to trigger paranoia. Are they trying to get me back for Christmas? Of course the onslaught of happy families on television takes its toll. There is so much emphasis on romance, family and togetherness. Read more >>>

 


Making It Through Christmas

Christmas can bring out stress in the most peaceful people. With gifts to buy, decorations to put up. meals to prepare… Add a toxic family dynamic to the mix and the stress can be overwhelming. So let’s talk about some ideas for how to survive the holidays without losing your mind.
Read more >>>

Savannah Christmas Chandelier by Joel Dauteuil

 


Dealing With the Christmas Merry Go Round


I remember only to clearly that feeling of anticipation and dread whenever I would have a family affair to attend. That worry that your life is about to be criticized, belittled and joked about. Sitting around a table or in a circle around the living room… The pressure to be a nice happy family was enormous, and it usually ended in some sort of fight over an insignificant detail. Read more >>>

How to Have Happy Holidays

There is extra strain on us to let the outside see that perfect family time, but as survivors I am sure we also all remember that feeling of putting in plenty of emotional overtime to try and make our abuser happy. If we just get him that perfect gift, or cook her that stunning 6 course meal. If only we can make the tree perfect, the table setting the most sparkly in the world. Maybe that will turn them from a Grinch into a Christmas morning Scrooge (the post ghost visit one). Maybe, like every family in every Christmas film ever made, this will be the year where they will see the error of their ways… yeah, maybe… but probably not.

Read more >>>

Preparing for Significant Dates

But however much I enjoy the festive season, it is also something of a minefield of triggers. There is the constant emphasis on family that is just plastered all over the television. The many memories of strenuous  family gatherings… there are too many to mention really.

This is a time of year when I lean into my strategies and rescue plans. I have been down this path a few times now, and I have my emergency plans ready at a moments notice. This is where strategy and planning comes in handy. So here is the thinking that has gone into my plan.

Read more >>>

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