Slowly I learned that it is okay, nae recommendable, to take a rest. This is not a sign of laziness, entitlement or greed. It's an act of self-care.

Last Sunday I spend the whole day (pretty much) binge watching Netflix, playing jigsaws on my phone, and drinking wine (well, that last one was not a WHOLE day activity, but still). It was lovely, utterly enjoyable, and it left me rested and ready to go on Monday morning.

This would have been unthinkable even only a few months ago.

For a long time, even after I cut contact with my family, I was constantly trying to prove myself. I was constantly trying to prove to the world (but mainly to myself) that I was NOT lazy, undisciplined, and whatever else crap idea my family had planted in my head. I was ALWAYS in full swing, right until the time I would collapse in exhaustion.

That constant flow of overdoing it, collapsing, recovering and back to overdoing it was neither good for me, my partner or any of the projects I was working so hard on. Housekeeping, work, volunteering, writing, hanging out with friends, nothing actually works in that cycle of extremes.

Slowly but surely I learned that it is okay, nae commendable, to take a rest. To actually stop, sit and relax a little every day, and sometimes even an entire day. That going to the park, or a museum, or enjoying an overpriced herbal tea, or simply getting that luscious expensive shampoo…  is fine. These are not signs of laziness, entitlement or greed. They are important acts of self-care.

In order to keep your internal engine running, you need to fill it up regularly. Don’t keep on driving yourself until you stall and need to walk 10 miles for the nearest filling station…


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Having gained experience while working for a variety of European non-profits, I am proud to now work with SwanWaters. My connection with the website is not only professional. I am glad to tap into my personal experiences to help those who are living in toxic relationships whether with parents, partners or in their professional life. We need to make the world more aware of the devastating effects of emotional abuse and help more people on their way to heal and thrive.

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