Staying in a positive frame of mind can be extremely tricky when you are dealing with the negative memories and emotions attached to an abuser. It can be far easier just to give in to the idea that you are damaged, broken and beyond repair. It may hurt, but the pain is familiar. Healing is hard. It takes time, and energy and a tremendous amount of will-power. The only way to power through your journey is to try and keep a positive mind.
That doesn’t mean that you can never give into the anger, the fear or even the desperation! A positive mindset is not about pushing out or ignoring negativity. You need to go through all those stages and emotions. Positivity is important when you want to focus on the potential of your future, finding and creating possibilities to live your wildest dreams, and to keep yourself motivated and emotionally energized to keep going.
Here are some of our resources on positive thinking. I hope they will help you make the most of your day and bring you a shining future where you do not just survive but soar and thrive.
Being a survivor of abuse there is a lot of bad that we need to wade through. We NEED to tell our stories, state our truths and delve into our fear, anger and frustration. Of course we feel like an injustice was done, because it was! All those feelings, thoughts and processes have a place in the recovery journey. We call it The Black Swan Swamp.
What if we stop thinking about what we want so much, and begin to give attention to what we already have? All of a sudden we are looking at the other side of the coin, at what we have gained in our lives. It gives a unique spin on a set of circumstances we cannot possibly change.
In such times, it is not just about strength. It is about faith. Faith in yourself, faith in others, perhaps faith in a higher being or power. Yes I’d pushed and fought while fighting my cancer. However I’d never said it so directly. I was going to win my battles with cancer. I had cancer. The cancer did NOT have me. First Battle Won! That’s how I would win emotionally: I have cancer it does NOT have me.
Although most people have more positive than negative experiences in a day, so many of us feel our life is skewed towards the bad. One reason for that distorted perspective is that negative emotions are much louder than positive ones. Negative emotions are about survival. There is something that needs fixing now. And so our brain sends out a nice loud alarm call to kick us into action.
So, if we are not suppose to stop ourselves from feeling the negative emotions, how are we supposed to increase our positive experience? I like to think that we should simply adjust our emotional thermostat. The way to do that, is pretty straight forward actually: become more aware of your emotional state, and your positive emotions in particular.
We never said that recovery from abuse was easy. In fact we quite often comment on the fact that it is really really hard. It is a long journey, and one where we can feel impatient about our own progress. I know, because I have been there. Those days where you lament that you will be a victim all your days(because let’s face it, on those days you call yourself a victim instead of a survivor).
They say Loving Kindness meditation is one of the best ways to increase and retain positive emotions.
If traditional meditation is not your cup of tea (or if it is, we are not in the exclusion business) doing some coloring pages is a great second best.
In fact coloring is becoming a recommended pass time by Psychologists. “Coloring allows to unlock your creative potential. Perhaps more important, it helps relieve tension and anxiety.”
We agree, coloring can induce an almost meditative state. Today we are launching our very own Swan Coloring Book!
Well, that may be a bit of an overstatement, but I have my reasons for believing we can make you a little happier, and contribute to some positivity in your life. The other day I was reading a blog post called 11 Ways to Become a Better More Positive You on Power of Positivity. At number three they said:
#3. Place inspiring quotes all around you.