For your convenience and reading pleasure: a round-up of all the articles that SwanWaters has shared this week.

Happy Sunday!


September 17 – September 23

Poem in a ShoeboxMags wrote this poem for my parents’ 35th wedding anniversary. But now I see it in a new light: a poem that about what the SwanWaters community represents: lifting each other up above difficult circumstances.

And Still I RiseA video of the inspiring modern classic of a poem by Dr. Maya Angelou.

Self-Love With Omi King S1 E11Omi King talks about being gentle with ourselves when it comes to dealing with out triggers, but also taking responsibility for our own healing.

How Do I Know If I’m In A Cult?Our friend Kit Kennedy wrote this amazing and practical guide for anyone asking tough questions about whether or not a group they’re in is unhealthy.

This week’s episode of the Pint-Sized Healing PodcastIn our latest episode, Mags and Carrie discuss the way toxic people use guilt to manipulate targets, and why we need learn to see this abusive tactic for what it is. 


September 10 – September 16

Have you ever wondered how you are supposed to be happy with who you are, while at the same time strive for personal growth? Yeah, so has Mags! Check out her thoughts about it in Episode 3 of the Pint-Sized Healing Podcast – Personal Growth Paradox.

Ajahn Brahm responds to a request online about rejection and denigration from others leading to low self-esteem and lack of self-worth.  (Ajahn Brahm is a Buddhist monk, but his words can be taken outside of the religious context)

The abuser has spent years and years breaking you down, so learning to trust in your own abilities is an important aspect of your journey. It is not always easy though. Mags muses about having confidence in your healing.

Are you a ‘yes’ person? Let Corinne from The Parent Pragmatic teach you the value of ‘no’.

Since it was Positive Thinking Day on Thursday, we revisited the podcast I recorded on the topic of positivity. And when I say that, I don’t mean the frantically trying to suppress negative thoughts type, but actual positivity. Listen here.

“This cycle of abuse can confuse the victims, particularly kids, because they feel that something is wrong, but can’t find a solution.” Read more on the link between narcissistic abuse and anxiety disorders here.

We hear so many things about an “attitude of gratitude” and staying positive. A few techniques Aubrey Cole’s found for staying positively focused are here.


September 3 – September 9

SwanWaters team member Carrie Maya talks you through her process as she deals with emotional overwhelm (it’s real-time!). Listen to the latest episode of the podcast here.

On autopilot, we might not notice all the stress we carry around — Elisha Goldstein shares a brief mindfulness practice to unwind your body and mind at the end of a hectic day.

Aaaah, trust. That ever elusive concept of human relationships… Trust I think -maybe more than anything- is something that survivors struggle with. Whether you trust too easily or not at all, the experience of abuse makes our trust meter go haywire.

I hear so many survivors wonder “why is my abuser so successful?” In the words of Terry Crews: success is the warmest place to hide.

The abuser has spent years and years breaking you down, so learning to trust in your own abilities is an important aspect of your journey. It is not always easy though. I muse about having confidence in your healing in this week’s blog.

In The Power of No, James Altucher explains how you can improve your life and health by saying no to the things that are causing you harm and slowing you down so that you have the energy to say yes to the things that you find uplifting.


August 27 – September 2

This week’s Pint-Sized Healing Podcast episode was originally recorded as a Facebook Live. I answered the questions left for me in the Facebook Group. I talk about building and maintaining relationships and friendships. Listen here.

Giving too much can lead to deep resentment, depression, and health issues. Woman’s Day has some advice on how to focus on your own needs and get used to saying ‘no’ without guilt.

Can simply putting pen to paper really help you make sense of your story? Help you recover from abuse? Create healthy emotional balance that allows you not just to survive, but to thrive? Short answer? Yes! For the longer answer, check out this article.

Too busy to take care of yourself? The videos in this TED Talk playlist offer simple ways to stay healthy — both emotionally and physically.

At the start of Suicide Prevention Month (September) I wanted to reshare my response on the day of hearing about Anthony Bourdain’s passing.

Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud talks about endings and why it’s sometimes best that relationships reach closure. Whether in our work or private lives, endings are necessary if we want to thrive and realize our dreams. But endings are rarely – if ever – easy. This book provides plenty of good advice on how to use endings to your benefit.


August 20 – August 26

Sometimes we say the wrong thing, we make someone feel uncomfortable, insecure or just plain bad. We don’t mean to, be we cannot always predict how others will react. So, how do you tell the difference between a mistake and abuse? I discussed this in this week’s podcast.

“I know that the reason I felt so empty and broken was because I didn’t know myself at all.”
Self-Love, be Intentional | Caitlyn Roux | TEDxYouth@CapeTown

It’s possible to no longer have a toxic person in your life, but still live with the effects of their bullying on a daily basis. It’s easy to confuse their abusive words for your own thoughts. But this can be unlearned. Click here to learn how.

Michael Ballard shares how four types of consciousness helped him better understand exactly where he was, when dealing with personal and professional issues as well as when consulting with business clients or volunteering.

I love this song! I think most abuse survivors can identify with the fear of using their voice. But we can do it!!


August 13 – August 19

Resilience Coach Michael Ballard shares four types of consciousness that helped him better understand exactly where he was when dealing with personal and professional issues as well as when consulting with business clients or volunteering.

“What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while,” helped Gretchen Rubin to stay focused when things got rocky and not lose sight of her path to happiness. Learn how she found happiness.

If you’re a fan of the book or movie Matilda, you’ll appreciate this question: does the voice in your head sound like mean old Miss Trunchbull? If so, click here to learn how to treat yourself with the kindness and patience of Miss Honey.

Life is stressful enough for most of us. Allowing a toxic individual to ravage your immediate environment can cause havoc in your mental well-being, which can lead to physical challenges. Drew Hendricks shares 8 ways to deal with toxic people.

Just a quick reminder: you are worth it!

A short practice from mindful.org to help restore awareness of your breath and your body and reclaim your equilibrium when you are feeling panicked.


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