As survivors our alarm bells go a little bit haywire.What we need to look for: Is this a toxic pattern or is this a one-off?
Love bombing is a manipulation tactic used by abusers—of all kinds—to convince the people they want to use that they are worthy of trust; using it as a bargaining chip to fall back on if the target starts realizing that they’re being mistreated.
Responding to bad news or difficult life circumstances is always tricky, and this one is especially complex. So, I will take you through it step by step.
The idea that abuse does not happen behind white picket fences or always leaves bruises is just something we tell ourselves. It makes it easier to process. It means we can think of an abuser as a monster, instead of a neighbor.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I dislike that saying, because guess what: it was words that beat me to a pulp every day
Anger is a very powerful emotion. One which society tends to feel is bad and self-indulgent. Yet it has the potential to benefit our relationships.
If she would meet a sphinx and be given the riddle: Nobody is perfect, what are you? She would be stuck!
An abuser is never only one thing to one person. They are partners, parents, co-workers, managers, ministers, preachers, neighbors or community leaders.
Weapons of abuse all result in a target losing his or her sense of reality in favor of a parallel existence dominated by the whims of another person.
We tell ourselves that abuse doesn’t happen behind white picket fences, so we can think of abusers as monsters, instead of as our neighbors.