While we are subject to abuse, we sometimes cause pain to others too. We are recruited as Flying Monkeys, and are tricked into doing the abuser’s dirty work
Here’s where the uninformed become proxy abusers: when they assume that No Contact is another version of “I’m punishing you so I’m not going to talk to you.”
Perfection is an allusive goal, and one NO-ONE reaches, EVER! And although striving for your best is great, being a perfectionist can be downright harmful.
There is a very big lie that abusers tell their targets. It is the biggest lie of all. This lie tells the target: this is all your fault!
“Over the last years I realise more and more that the constant feedback of me being lazy, undisciplined, self-centred and fat (as the main themes) prevented me from being a confident person, and for a long time stopped me from being a successfully independent adult.”