Fear is an emotion of negative influence and the sooner you learn to push past the fear and recognize it for what it is, you will find new peace.
I see the enabling person as one who will use every trick in the book to let the toxic person get their own way.
To talk about abuse is not only good for targets. Abuse has far reaching effects on our communities, it is in all of our best interests to address the issue
This process is called ‘dosing’. It means giving the target a little bit of a break, or a small kindness in order for them to stay put.
Alas most of you can relate to the duality of living with abuse. Covering up the scars – visible or not. Never showing your fears or anxiety.
Weapons of abuse all result in a target losing his or her sense of reality in favor of a parallel existence dominated by the whims of another person.
Our most immediate association with the word violence is of physical aggression. But you can utterly destroy a person, and never lay a hand on them.
We tell ourselves that abuse doesn’t happen behind white picket fences, so we can think of abusers as monsters, instead of as our neighbors.
There is a very big lie that abusers tell their targets. It is the biggest lie of all. This lie tells the target: this is all your fault!
Most people are surprised about my past. ‘I had no idea,’ they say. And they wouldn’t. It was all hidden abuse, no scars or bruises to tell the story.