To talk about abuse is not only good for targets. Abuse has far reaching effects on our communities, it is in all of our best interests to address the issue
This process is called ‘dosing’. It means giving the target a little bit of a break, or a small kindness in order for them to stay put.
Alas most of you can relate to the duality of living with abuse. Covering up the scars – visible or not. Never showing your fears or anxiety.
Weapons of abuse all result in a target losing his or her sense of reality in favor of a parallel existence dominated by the whims of another person.
Our most immediate association with the word violence is of physical aggression. But you can utterly destroy a person, and never lay a hand on them.
We tell ourselves that abuse doesn’t happen behind white picket fences, so we can think of abusers as monsters, instead of as our neighbors.
There is a very big lie that abusers tell their targets. It is the biggest lie of all. This lie tells the target: this is all your fault!
Most people are surprised about my past. ‘I had no idea,’ they say. And they wouldn’t. It was all hidden abuse, no scars or bruises to tell the story.
This is my nightmare, and my dream come true. This is how I met the man of my dreams, and how he turned out to also be the man of my nightmares.
In the time I have worked for SwanWaters, I’ve become aware how ill-informed people are. That’s why Domestic Violence Awareness Month is absolutely vital.