It took many years for me to understand that guilt and shame are two entirely different things with vastly different impacts.
You may think of PTSD as an emotional disorder, but it really isn’t. PTSD show up in your brain, and actually influences how your brain functions.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I dislike that saying, because guess what: it was words that beat me to a pulp every day
I truly don’t remember a time in my life when I did not feel shame. We’re not talking about the same thing as guilt.
Perfection is an allusive goal, and one NO-ONE reaches, EVER! And although striving for your best is great, being a perfectionist can be downright harmful.
I was engaged in a war at home against myself, my family, the lies, the pain. I was fearful, angry, heartbroken, insecure, stressed, always on full alert…
It is easier to accept that someone has been a target of abuse when they have bruises to show. It is not the bruises that hurt most, it is feeling unlovable
It’s hard sometimes to know your own motivations, especially in the aftermath of abuse.
This week we recorded a podcast on PTSD (it will be available soon). That of course meant that I did quite some thinking and reading on the topic too.
Abuse survivors go to huge lengths to be liked and get everyone’s approval. It often means denying their own wants and needs.