The short-coming isn’t in the emotional pain you feel. The short-coming is in our collective inability to understand that there is no time-line for healing.
Love bombing is a manipulation tactic used by abusers—of all kinds—to convince the people they want to use that they are worthy of trust; using it as a bargaining chip to fall back on if the target starts realizing that they’re being mistreated.
When abusers say, ‘You reap what you sow’ it means ‘you are the real cause of the abuse’. But is there truth to this old adage that abusers fail to see?
Recently a dear friend and fellow-survivor lost her toxic mother and it got us to talking about grief. I sometimes wonder how I will respond when I find out.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I dislike that saying, because guess what: it was words that beat me to a pulp every day
Let me say this about that turn of phrase ‘the right to see their grandchild’. I think that, when they chose to be abusive to you, they forfeited any rights to your children.
Awareness of the influence of early learning on our adult life is crucial if we want to improve our situation, and intention is the first step.
Toxic people and abusers are experts on jealousy. They cannot bear the thought of anyone having something they don’t have, or experiencing something they are not experiencing.
Parentification and infantalization are strategies to make the victim feel both responsible
Whether by denial, lying or being covertly abusive – phrasing what they say very carefully to intentionally hurt you – an abuser will use gaslighting as just one weapon in an arsenal of many. The tactic is used to alienate and isolate you from others, most especially your loved ones or co-workers.