Have you ever wondered why some people rob you of the joy of living? Why they are always negative and look to you to raise their spirits? Why they have crisis upon crisis and expect you to rescue them?
If you have, then it is time to take back your happiness!
The Hamster Wheel of Life
Toxic people are manipulating and controlling you by their bad behavior. That type of behavior can range from annoying to outright abusive.
Harsh as it sounds: if you continue to play the game of enabling their behavior you will keep running on the hamster wheel of life. The only choice you have is to take away your availability. Let them either turn inwards and admit their actions and seek help to change themselves, or let them find someone else to play their games. Should you continue being dependent in these relationships you will have the joy of life and energy sucked right out of you.
Normal people will want to lift your spirits in times of despair. They will encourage you to achieve your goals, and offer their help at any time you may need it. Help that does not come with strings attached! Within any relationship you may find that there is someone who has more needs than others, but it is their own attitude towards their problems that characterizes whether they are controlling you or are just unfortunate.
Dysfunctional people in any relationship will always be the victim. They will never face the fact that their own responsibilities and part in their problems. Strangely enough the rescuer is never good enough, no matter how many times they take over the problem. Yet the rescuers are always expected to lift the spirits of that person, praise them and even adore them.
Do you know someone who calls you a friend, but expects you to do the running and fixing in the relationship? Feel free to put a stop to their behavior. No-one is worth the effort it takes to appease such a person. If you stop seeing them, they will become angry with you. They are quite likely to talk badly about you to others, but at least they cannot suck you dry. As many of their relationships are short-lived they will get the reputation of being the awkward and unsavory character.
A true friend will always understand if you have to let them down on occasions, they will offer their support when you need it and they will always listen to you without trying to sabotage your happiness.
The Simple Key to a Happy Life
To enable a plane to fly you need to consider the four main principles of flying, lift, thrust, weight and drag. In the wise words of Joel Osteen most people will fall into these four categories.
We will encounter these people throughout our lives and the key to leading a happy life is to spend the majority of your time with the lifters and thrusters.
It is perfectly okay to help people when they need it. No matter how many times that may be, but do not become their crutch, their sole source of fairy dust that will make everything right for them. Any person who loses their own joy for the sake of someone who does not deserve it, whatever their relationship to you, is not going to be happy.
You will never reach your goals or be the person you want to be if you become too closely entwined with the weights and draggers.
To a large extent we are in control of our own happiness. Enabling others to remain in their position of negativity is not helpful to them. They will never change if we continue to fix them. Besides the injustice and energy draining is not good for us.
If you have friends or family who constantly demand your time, attention and money then re-examine your relationship with them and improve your own life.