E28 The Grief Of a Childhood Lost

In the last few years that I have been away from my family, I can honestly say I have not missed any of them even for a single second. I have missed the idea of having parents and sisters, but not them. Not the actual people. That to me just show I made the right choice. If there had been love, there had been grief.

I may not have grieved the loss of my family members, I did go through a grieving process.

There are still days where the feeling just overwhelms me: I am orphaned by choice. I feel so utterly alone. It is my inner-child that cries out that she just wants a hug from a parent. A big hug and the reassuring words that everything will be alright. I feel sorry for that little girl, and I am sorry for everything she had to face at a time when she should not have had to be so grown-up.

I think that is part of the grieving process. The grief of a childhood lost, grief for that lost and sad little girl. Sometimes it is hard to connect to her. to give her that hug she so desperately needs.

When I was a child I used to hide in the walls of my parents’ house. They were doing construction, and I could just squeeze in after they removed the insulation. When I think of that my inner-child, that is the feeling and the image. Hiding in the dark in a desperate attempt not to have to go with my parents. Alone and trapped.

I remember only too well, and I cry my tears for that little girl.

I am sorry you felt so alone, so trapped, so unloved, so unworthy and so unsupported.

You can come out of your wall now, everything is going to be okay!

Fly Free,

Mags
Operations Manager

previous episode next episode

we love to read your comments below

Mags

Mags

Having gained experience while working for a variety of European non-profits, I am proud to now work with SwanWaters. My connection with the website is not only professional. I am glad to tap into my personal experiences to help those who are living in toxic relationships whether with parents, partners or in their professional life. We need to make the world more aware of the devastating effects of emotional abuse and help more people on their way to heal and thrive.
Mags

Latest posts by Mags (see all)


Leave a Reply


Concerns or Questions?

See our FAQs page or submit a question to our support team - we're here and happy to help.

Ask a Question
Newsletter

Subscribe to receive special offers and the latest news delivered to your inbox for free.

SIGN INTO YOUR ACCOUNT

Your privacy is important to us and we will never rent or sell your information.

 
×
FORGOT YOUR DETAILS?
×

Go up