I bet you did not know that today is Forgiveness Day! It is always a touchy subject, but one I think that we need to keep discussing on SwanWaters. Forgiveness is hard! I get that, really I do! I mean, I am right there with you. Somewhere between anger, guilt, blame and responsibility. I just firmly believe that forgiveness is an important step in our healing journey. A step that has nothing to do with my abusers, and everything to do with my inner-peace. In fact, I don’t think it is a step at all. Forgiveness is a journey in and of itself.
Here is what some of you thought out it:
I found that forgiveness had to be about me forgiving myself. Like many survivors, I blamed myself for the abuse I endured. Forgiveness for survivors doesn’t mean what it does for others, because we forgive the abuse over and over–it’s what keeps us there. Forgiveness was about no longer giving the memories any power over me emotionally or physically.
Emotional Abuse Survivors Recovery by Aubrey Cole
Forgiveness is not that free pass for the abuser, it is not even sweeping your story under the rug (again). I think it is about owning your story and being at peace with it. I have no interest in grudges,
I have enough baggage with just my pain and grief ♥
Unforgiveness is like an acid. The acid harms the vessel that carries it more than the object it might be poured upon. Don’t hold ACID in your heart. You can forgive and still own your Truth. When you own your Truth, that is ultimate forgiveness for yourself. Nothing is more important than that.
Some Forgiveness Day Reading
Why not delve into the topic a bit more today, it seems like the best day for it
The importance of Self-forgiveness
Why forgiveness renders such a powerful emotional response is because we feel that we are somehow ‘letting our abuser get away with it’. As toxic people notoriously do not take any responsibility for their actions, maybe we feel that we at least should hold them accountable. Yet forgiveness has nothing to do with accountability, responsibility or even blame. It also does not mean that just because you forgive your abuser, you have to go back for more abuse.
Read more >>>
Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys
It is a sense of responsibility that often triggers a huge amount of guilt in the Swan when they decide to change or leave the relationship. Even when we realize the toxicity of the situation, deep down we continue to feel that responsibility. And, unfortunately, that too often translates into the world’s biggest guilt trip.
Read more >>>
Force of Forgiveness
If you have difficulty even imagining yourself feeling forgiveness toward your abuser, please be patient with yourself. The desire to move beyond the sharing and validation stage is something that occurs at differing times for differing people. Talking and sharing with all types of survivors at various stages of their journey will help you compare and validate as you progress.
Read more >>>
Don’t Go It Alone
Oh, and if you need some support on your day of forgiveness, it is also Take Your Dog to Work Day so you can cuddle in the office while contemplating forgiveness 😉
Share your thoughts on forgiveness below, I am always curious to hear what you think.