It occurs to me that people want survivors to just “get over it”. The healing is superficial as the emphasis is not on being well, but on being well enough.

When I think about healing and trauma recovery, it really occurs to me that people just want survivors of abuse to just “get over it”. There is an emphasis on getting back to “normal”. What is meant by this is that they want people to become functioning individuals who are contributing members of society. Sadly, though, the emphasis is on functioning rather than on functioning well.

This goes for emotional trauma, but it goes for the flu as well. As soon as you’re even remotely capable of staying upright again, you are expected to go back rather than stay home for an extra day or two to ensure that you’re completely better.  So while you might be able to, technically, do what your job requires of you, you are exhausted every day for the next three weeks, and still have a cough for the next six. The healing is superficial because the emphasis is not on being well, but on being well enough.

It really saddens me to see this. Human beings need to be allowed to address and nurture their holistic wellness. Because it’s in looking after ourselves properly in the short-term that we can make substantial contributions in the long-term.

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Having gained experience while working for a variety of European non-profits, I am proud to now work with SwanWaters. My connection with the website is not only professional. I am glad to tap into my personal experiences to help those who are living in toxic relationships whether with parents, partners or in their professional life. We need to make the world more aware of the devastating effects of emotional abuse and help more people on their way to heal and thrive.

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