Many moons ago, my therapist told me a story about a broken vending machine. The moral of that story? When we continue our old, trauma-informed behavior and habits, there’s a good chance that we continue to struggle.
It is not until you discover the wet towel someone left at the bottom of the laundry basket, that you really see the need to air that mess out.
There is a very big lie that abusers tell their targets. It is the biggest lie of all. This lie tells the target: this is all your fault!
Toxic people take no blame, and love playing the victim. So whatever they do, be ready for it to be your fault!
Sometimes we get so used to the abuse, that it becomes our normal. We don’t even realize what’s going on. Could balance and harmony be your new normal?
If you have experienced abuse then you know our physical, emotional and spiritual health has taken a beating, and it takes time to deal with the trauma.
Now that I’d left, I couldn’t trust my decision-making ability because I’d clearly made such terrible ones while under my former abuser’s control.
Don’t be fooled, people who create drama, and then portray themselves as the victim are playing games. They are manipulating you.
So let me start by saying that the positive we will we consider here is not some perky-pants denial accompanied by a chirpy, “Oh, I’m fine!” Why? You aren’t fine.
That’s how an abuser breaks your confidence. They make you doubt your strengths and focus on your weaknesses. No wonder you feel flawed and incompetent