All survivors have those types of triggers. In fact, sometimes it can be a smell, or a song, or seeing someone in the street who looks just like our abuser.
The very idea that you might be busy when they call upon you is beyond a toxic person. The whole world revolves around them, after all.
The drive for perfection means the toxic person focuses all their attention and effort on the exterior, but they are people of little emotional substance
Abusers take a special kind of pleasure from the pain and discomfort of others. If they can increase that pain, they will! It is a cruel sense of pleasure.
It is difficult for survivors of abuse to keep safe from online stalking. Often the abuser keeps track of Facebook accounts, LinkedIn profiles, you name it!
A mother’s love is supposed to be the strongest and most unconditional love imaginable. It should create the basis of the love we have for ourselves
The further I progress my own healing, the more I learn what separates those who survive from the ones that thrive. So let’s look at surviving vs thriving!
I did not feel comfortable calling my past abuse. Why? Probably because like so many people, I only associated the word abuse with sexual or physical abuse. Abuse is emotional, verbal, financial… it is any situation where a person is marginalized, made to feel insignificant, unworthy, unlovable and unimportant.
“Why did she not leave?” seems the standard in talking about abuse. We need to stop that. Why not ask “why he abuse her?” or even better “how can I help?”
Growing up with an emotionally unavailable parent is far from normal. Yet in order to survive you will have convinced yourself that things were normal.