I have talked about the less than discriminating nature of abuse. It happens anywhere in different settings. Another factor that is not considered: gender.
An abuser is never only one thing to one person. They are partners, parents, co-workers, managers, ministers, preachers, neighbors or community leaders.
I once heard someone speak of the children of narcissists as Bonsai Children. We are put in a small pot, our growth is stunted, our potential seems lost.
I cannot even count the number of times people have said to me: You can’t just cut contact, they are your parents! Guess what? Yes, I can!
It is easier to accept that someone has been a target of abuse when they have bruises to show. It is not the bruises that hurt most, it is feeling unlovable
Finding out about emotional abuse is a delicate balance of terrifying euphoria. It is both feeling liberated and a staring into the abyss.
Our most immediate association with the word violence is of physical aggression. But you can utterly destroy a person, and never lay a hand on them.
Most people are surprised about my past. ‘I had no idea,’ they say. And they wouldn’t. It was all hidden abuse, no scars or bruises to tell the story.
Our minds get stronger with all the mental weightlifting we do! If we keep doing the work, keep showing up… we will heal. We are the Olympians of Healing!
It seems there are quite a few very useful (yet bizarre) holidays for us survivors at the moment. We celebrated Forgiveness Day last week, and this Friday is Compliment Your Mirror Day. The perfect day to talk to you all about mirror work.