The first three steps of empowerment that take you on the road from victim to survivor
The holidays bring up emotions for many people, especially so for survivors. It is a good idea to prepare yourself a little so you can have happy holidays.
I decided I was worth something. I was worth boundaries and respect. It was the day I told my parents that I’d no longer have anything to do with them
Escaping an abusive situation is difficult, if not full on dangerous. Preparing your escape will make you more likely to get out and stay out. Here is some advice to consider while getting ready.
Even the most well-meaning person, if not the survivor of abuse, can ask themselves why did she not leave the situation? (Or he of course, since men are targets of domestic abuse too) After all, it’s a logical question, particularly when the target stays in the abusive relationship sometimes for decades. It’s so incredibly hard to understand if you have not lived it, but for those of us who have, there are four common reasons behind why we stay.
“Why did she not leave?” seems the standard in talking about abuse. We need to stop that. Why not ask “why he abuse her?” or even better “how can I help?”