I decided to do something very different. I made a list of all the reasons I had for working so hard at my recovery.
There is a fine balance between being prepared for legitimate threats, and just being anxious and obsessive.
Whether by denial, lying or being covertly abusive – phrasing what they say very carefully to intentionally hurt you – an abuser will use gaslighting as just one weapon in an arsenal of many. The tactic is used to alienate and isolate you from others, most especially your loved ones or co-workers.
The silent treatment is commonly used by narcissists and sociopaths. It is dished out as punishment, and means the victim ceases to exist in their world.
Many survivors of abuse chose to "go no contact" with their abuser. It is a state in which we deny the abuser direct access to us. We are often accused of selfishness (especially those who cut contact with their parents or siblings), but no contact is not about the abuser.
We hear a lot about Karma, people saying, “Oh, don’t you worry… he/she will get his/hers.” The problem is we look at Karma the wrong way. We are so used to keeping score in the relationship because, in an abuse dynamic, everything is transactional.
Survivors of abuse feel isolated by the dysfunctional chaos around them, and think escape is impossible. Connecting with peers is key to the healing journey
Most of us are familiar with the term 'Stockholm Syndrome' from TV shows like Law & Order or CSI. We associate it with the kidnap and abuse of young children. There are many cases recorded where children, when rescued, felt love towards their abuser. Although less widely known, Stockholm Syndrome also influences many adult victims of emotional abuse.
From an early age we learn that men and women are very different. Women are from Venus, men are from Mars? Does gender influence how we experience abuse?