We should keep this in mind when we look at general information: Toxic Relationships Are Not Part of This Conversation! The rules do not apply to abusers.
When you do something to look after yourself you have a huge guilt trip? Is there part of you that things looking after yourself in selfish?
Some days it is easier to self-care than others. Christine Judd and I talk about the things we do to get through the days when it is a little harder.
Once you start thinking of self-care as a way to look after different aspects of your being, you open yourself up to creative ways to self-care.
People often think of self-care as bubble baths and fancy chocolates, but I think that a much too narrow definition of the concept.
With abusers constantly attacking our boundaries, we develop toxicity; a defense mechanism consisting of a set of unhealthy attitudes and behavior to cope
Sometimes it is easier to just put down one big boundary rather than 100 little, individual ones. The biggest of all big boundaries is obviously No Contact
Survivors of abuse may often go into over-justifying our boundaries more than being poor at communicating boundaries in general.
If we were to believe abusers and toxic people, then enforcing boundaries is the most selfish act in the world. But are boundaries really selfish?
This podcast was originally posted on 1 January 2018, so I do talk about New Year’s Resolutions… but goal setting is something you can do all year round!