Financial Abuse is a great strategy for the abuser to have control over you. After all, we don’t get far without money in the modern world.
“My father keeps insisting I share bank statements with him because he needs to track a certain payment. I don’t feel comfortable handing him all my banking information though. He says I am out of line. Am I?”

You are an adult, and so the choice of what information you share—and who with—is entirely your own (I mean aside from the tax man, of course! 😉

Why are you feeling uncomfortable and unsafe with your father seeing these details? I’d say it’s indicative of something. Listening to that inner-voice can be good practice. Toxic people do a lot of information gathering, and knowing details of your financials can be valuable to them. It shows them where there are possible buttons for them to push.

Since your father keeps pushing you, start thinking of ways that you can keep information away from him. Why does your father need to track your payment? Is there a legitimate reason for that? If there is, can you only share what is necessary—rather than letting him have access to all your details?

Perhaps you can simply black-out the details you do not want him to see. As I said, you are an adult and entitled your privacy.

If he is tracking a deposit, why not go to the bank and do it in person. That way you can show him the deposit slip without him seeing your entire bank statement.

Perhaps you can let that specific payment he needs to track go through a separate account?

Gaining access and (some) control over your finances is a great strategy for the abuser to have control over you. After all, we don’t get far without money in the modern world. So this (like so many others) is an area where you want to build up, and stick to, your boundaries.


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Financial Abuse is a great strategy for the abuser to have control over you. After all, we don’t get far without money in the modern world.

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