With abusers constantly attacking our boundaries, we develop toxicity; a defense mechanism consisting of a set of unhealthy attitudes and behavior to cope

We see this a lot in toxic relationships. I have certainly witnessed it in the family I grew up in. With our parents constantly attacking our boundaries, my sisters and I developed a defense mechanism: a set of unhealthy attitudes and behavior we developed in order to cope.

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“In fact, the contagiousness of toxicity is a natural defense mechanism. Howard Bloom in The Lucifer Principle explains how increased toxicity of cyanobacteria was one of the first evolutionary adaptations — bacteria actually evolved to get more and more toxic in order to survive. The same applies to humans on the macro level.”
From the Art of Charm

Main Take-Aways

  • Within abuse, we develop toxic ways to compensate for boundaries being constantly ignored
  • Our boundaries determine our shape in the world so that being disrespected will trigger a response of some sort
  • Often we resort to toxic behaviors to deal with a toxic situation

Links to Resources

Boundaries Healing Academy Module

 Listen To More Episodes Here


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Mags

Mags

Having gained experience while working for a variety of European non-profits, I am proud to now work with SwanWaters. My connection with the website is not only professional. I am glad to tap into my personal experiences to help those who are living in toxic relationships whether with parents, partners or in their professional life. We need to make the world more aware of the devastating effects of emotional abuse and help more people on their way to heal and thrive.
Mags

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With abusers constantly attacking our boundaries, we develop toxicity; a defense mechanism consisting of a set of unhealthy attitudes and behavior to cope

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