There are so few people who really understand how long and difficult a journey healing is. Once you leave an abusive situation, people just assume that’s it done, you are “over it”. And if you are not, then you should just pull yourself together, and get over it.
If you have experienced abuse, as we have, then you know it doesn’t work like that. Our physical, emotional and spiritual health has taken a beating, and it takes time to deal with the memories, the triggers and all the ways our lives have been affected.
Imagine that you are a Mac computer, but some very disturbed IT guy installed Windows Vista as your operating system. All the connections are wrong. Your Mac parts and your Windows programming simply do not line up, they cannot communicate properly. When you hit the space bar, you type a w instead.
That is what it is like. Abuse is a way in which a toxic person destroys your programming. Your responses to everything are off. You cannot understand the signals of your own body and mind, you may struggle to connect to other people and build friendships and relationships. And if you think there are many buttons on a computer, just imagine how many connections there are in your body and mind. Sometimes you are not even sure if it is a bad connection or spyware.
Are you still wondering why it takes so long to override that programming? Testing and reconnecting every single aspect? It takes time. The good news is that healing is definitely possible, and addressing the faulty programming will begin to shift your life from pure survival to balance and happiness.
The healing journey from abuse is not an easy one, we get that. It takes time, lots of strength and patience. Going it alone is next to impossible, so gather a group of good friends around you. Finding support and validation from peers is of great value too! In The Healing Academy, we have gathered the lessons and methods that helped us heal, and we have created a community of survivors who will cheer you on and support you on your journey.