September 18-20, I spent the weekend attending seminars and keynote presentations from some of the greatest minds in self-improvement, spirituality, personal growth, and living a fulfilling life. The Hay House I Can Do It Conference in Orlando was a gift to me from author, health coach, and 21st Century Medicine Woman Heather Dane and her husband—one of our staff partners here at SwanWaters. I want to offer a recap of some highlights and lessons I learned.

The Universe/God Does Love You, And You Have Gifts To Share

Nowhere was this theme more evident to me than the people I connected with so many times and in so many ways. We were total strangers, yet somehow they were drawn to talk to me. After listening to Robert Holden, I realized that this was because I am emanating an energy that is welcoming, loving, supportive, and confident. This is because I am allowing life to love me. It wasn’t always so. But when I felt at my worst during the darkest periods of my recovery, something deep within my soul kept whispering, “There is more. Just hold on.

I realized this weekend that it is because I am projecting love. That might sound like mumbo jumbo to some of you, but there was a long time when I was so afraid, that all I projected was fear and anger. That wasn’t my soul. That was the pain of the abuse.

Number One Healing Tool: Compassion For Yourself!

I can’t begin to number the times that I have told another survivor that it’s time to forgive yourself, and the person you used to be; in order to love and empower the person you are now. Nancy Levin and Mike Robbins each reminded us of that in their presentations. Nancy’s personal story includes the escape from an unhappy marriage, and the catharsis that happened when she realized she had to release her shame by having compassion for herself. Mike tells the story of the day he realized his professional baseball career had ended and how, later, he berated himself for not achieving a goal. His girlfriend (now wife) sternly told him to stop talking about the man she loved that way. What a great reminder! If you were your own best friend (and you are) why would you not correct anyone who is talking badly about the person you love?

How To Love Yourself With Food

Heather Dane co-authored a book with Louise Hay called Loving Yourself to Great Health, in which they explain that the combination of lack of love for ourselves and the body-depleting foods we ingest are what removes all the joy from our lives. I realize that, as a southerner, we loved ourselves with food the wrong way (“comfort foods”). Heather taught me that loving yourself means caring enough to give your body exactly what it needs, when it needs it; from B12 to Zinc to not-bleached-salt. Louise Hay is 88 years well-seasoned, and amazing because of her positive thought processes and the way she nurtures her physical body. As a practical matter, the first month I began practicing Heather’s methods I dropped over 20 pounds—showing just how sick my body actually has been. I continue to make great, even if imperfect, progress.

You Are A Being Of Love And Goodness

Caroline Myss reminded us that religious strife and clashes between cultures are rooted in dogma. And they impact everyone. That is if those of us who believe in a Higher Power believe we are made in the image of that Higher Power (God). Then we must remember that our soul is an infinite source of love and goodness. Your abuse taught you otherwise. Society and possibly your church taught you otherwise. Consider that when you let yourself be controlled by anger and judgment, even at your abuser, that you are not allowing your soul to be what it was meant to be.

Yeah, I know how all this might sound—especially coming from super-left-brained-scientist girl. But I have seen in my own life how making these changes made me a light for others; a warm and inviting place for people to be. I love that.

Look for all of these wonderful teachers and more on and Hay House Radio programs. You will not be disappointed. As Nancy Levin, who was the Event Director for Hay House for years before becoming an author, said:

“This shit works!”

Aubrey Cole

Aubrey Cole

I survived a quarter century of psychological, emotional, economic and sexual abuse. When I got out, I vowed to help others do the same and founded the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network project in 2012. Now, I offer hope and healing to others on their journey as they rediscover themselves. My forthcoming books, Bodies in the Basement and Define Winning, chronicle my experiences, escape, and recovery. There is nothing so special about me that others can't emerge and thrive.
Aubrey Cole

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One comment:

  1. Aubrey Cole

    September 26, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    You can tell I was having fun because I have my goofy face on!


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