A little while ago, I had a conversation with a fellow survivor who said in frustration, “Nothing has fixed me yet!” When I probed a little deeper into the definition of “nothing”, I discovered she’d joined some different groups and programs, but had never actually never been an active participant in any of them.
Here’s the thing: healing doesn’t just happen. It’s something you DO!
If you’re going to sit around waiting to “be healed”, you may as well wait for your fairy godmother to show up.
In other words: it’s not going to happen.
I feel privileged to be allowed to hold space for so many of you as you set out on your healing journey. I love making resources that can be of benefit to you. But I can’t do the healing for you. It will require your active participation.
I think there are 3 ways in which we have to commit to our healing:
- Develop more skills: finding tools, resources, and methods that help us recover our true, undamaged self.
- Get better at coping: thinking up ways to deal with the aftermath of our trauma, and how we deal with the triggers, emotions, and trials in our daily life.
- Get better at relationships: learning how we can relate to other people in a more healthy way will protect us from further toxic and abusive connections to develop. And (perhaps, even more importantly) learn how to relate to yourself in a healthier way so you can build good relationships with others.