My mother was never tired of commenting on how I didn’t do my laundry correctly: I didn’t separate correctly, picked the wrong cycles, and I also ironed and folded without following correct procedure.

It’s ironic that I had to be the one in my family who aired our dirty laundry.

For a long time, it was hard for me to write about my memories and experiences; putting them in writing felt scary because it made them real. But I was also fighting against programming that has survivors keep our abusers’ secrets for so long.

It is not until you discover the wet towel someone left at the bottom of the laundry basket, that you really see the need to air that mess out.

For me, the wet towel was what I call The Ambush. My parents “happened” to turn up at my sister’s place when I was visiting. It was about 6 months into going no contact. This ambush finally made me feel angry enough about their disrespect toward me and my boundaries that I suddenly didn’t feel guilty for sharing my story (at least in the privacy of a forum). Since they obviously felt no guilt about going against my expressed wishes, why should I feel any about going against theirs?

At first my opening up was about exposing my abusers’ secrets, but afterwards, it became more and more about processing and healing for myself.

Do you have any towels sitting at the bottom of your laundry basket? Maybe it’s time to air them out.

Fly free,


we love to read your comments belowPS. I am not suggesting you start a blog about your experiences. At least not when you are first setting out on your journey. Start by sharing some of your experiences with fellow survivors. Like in the SwanWaters Facebook Group.
While I may technically be the Director here at SwanWaters, my unofficial title is Healing Cheerleader! I’m a survivor of childhood emotional abuse and workplace bullying. And believe me when I say that I’ve walked the walk when it comes to healing from trauma. I firmly believe that we can undo some of the damage that abuse has done to us, and learn the necessary skills to handle life and all it brings us.

Latest posts by Mags (see all)

Leave a Reply

Concerns or Questions?

See our FAQs page or submit a question to our support team - we're here and happy to help.

Ask a Question

Subscribe to receive special offers and the latest news delivered to your inbox for free.


Your privacy is important to us and we will never rent or sell your information.


Go up