This website, the articles, the blog, and my forum entries. These are some of my most honest and vulnerable writing. This is my story, my pain, my truth, my learning, and the way I have learned to cope and heal from my past. I try to share as much, and as honestly, as I can— in an effort to help others find validation, support, and healing, too.
Nobody ever asked me what it was like to be me.
Once I told the truth about that, I felt free.
From: The Help (2011)
Sometimes it is painful going through my memories; confessing mistakes I made, or sharingt the way that, sometimes, my mind still sabotages me. I don’t tell a story of anger. I am not trying to play the victim card, and I am not here to complain about what happened to me. I want to share my memories becauseI want to share my truth. I want to tell you the truth about what it is like to be me.
Writing helps because it is cathartic. It helps me make connections between my memories and the long-term effects. It helps me identify triggers, and helps me desensitize those. Writing my thoughts down sometimes lets me hear an inner-monologue I did not even know was running in my head. It helps me wrap my story into manageable bubbles, and release them to the universe. Writing and sharing is what allowed me to accept and own my history. My past is part of me, and that is okay. It does not mean I am still that scared, confused, or self-doubting young woman I was once. It makes me the woman I am today; the woman who is striving to overcome the challenges of her upbringing in an attempt to make her own head, and the world, a better place to live.
There Are People That Do Not Understand
There are people out there, who do not understand. They think I am twisting facts, or am being dishonest. Fair enough, if that is how people feel. I used to spend so much time worrying about judgement from others. I know now that everyone is on their own journey, and not everyone will understand mine. Not everyone will find support in my efforts. But I hope that those people will find support and love in other places. Everybody deserves help and healing on their path.