Don’t be fooled, people who create drama, and then portray themselves as the victim are playing games. They are manipulating you.
Escaping an abusive situation is difficult, if not full on dangerous. Preparing your escape will make you more likely to get out and stay out. Here is some advice to consider while getting ready.
The drive for perfection means the toxic person focuses all their attention and effort on the exterior, but they are people of little emotional substance
Remember that when you are dealing with your abuser you will need to have a clear idea for yourself of what you consider a “winning” outcome.
Even the most well-meaning person, if not the survivor of abuse, can ask themselves why did she not leave the situation? (Or he of course, since men are targets of domestic abuse too) After all, it’s a logical question, particularly when the target stays in the abusive relationship sometimes for decades. It’s so incredibly hard to understand if you have not lived it, but for those of us who have, there are four common reasons behind why we stay.
As you walk this road recovery, know that it’s perfectly fine to have those moments of mourning. You lost something and it was huge. Grief is normal
So very often, when we read about domestic abuse in mainstream media, we are talking about the victims. “Why did she not leave?” seems the golden standard in reporting about abuse. It really is a question we need to stop asking. Why not ask “why did he continue to abuse her?” or perhaps even more important “how can I help?”
Growing up with an emotionally unavailable parent is far from normal. Yet in order to survive you will have convinced yourself that things were normal.
It’s easy to fall back into repetitive patterns because we like the familiar. As you navigate your healing, remember to be kind to yourself.
Fear is an emotion of negative influence and the sooner you learn to push past the fear and recognize it for what it is, you will find new peace.