Pair of monk parakeets on branch

This week I have been surrounded by information about toxic romances. A number of blogs (like this one) popped up on my social media platforms, that spoke of experiences with toxic partners. Last night I listened to the recording of a new SwanWaters podcast on Love Bombing, that we will publish soon (so keep an eye on our podcast page).

Fly Traps For Abusers

In so many stories I hear repetition. People that grew up with a toxic parent are much more likely to end up with a toxic partner. Those of us who have been in a toxic relationship, are far more likely to meet another toxic partner. It is not just romantic partners where this pattern strikes though. It can also manifest in work relationships or friendships. What does seem to become clear is that victims of abuse act like fly traps for abusers.

The Victim-Radar

That is not to say that a person who grew up in a healthy loving family will per definition not fall for the games of the abuser. They are however more likely to identify the games as toxic behavior. We are used to toxic behaviors, and therefore view them as normal. Besides, our self-esteem and confidence has already taken a beating, so we are more likely to disregard our own needs in favor of those of the abuser. In short, we come trained, and abusers it seems come with victim-radar. They can pick up on our training from our language and behavior.

Two for the Price of One

The only way to break that habit, is to address the previous injuries. Healing from the abuse is the best way to protect yourself from future abuse. So our healing journey will not only improve our mental, emotional and physical health, it will also allow us to develop far more healthy relationships in our lives, preventing future abuse…

WOOT WOOT, you get two for the price of one on all the hard work you are going to put in on your healing journey 🙂

The Journey May Not Be Easy, but It Is Seriously Worth the Ride!

Start your journey by finding out more about emotional abuse, and learning ways to cope with the toxic people in your life. Why not extend your knowledge by listening to some podcasts. While learning more about emotional abuse, you will want to start working on some of the effects you are noticing in yourself, we have a whole healing section to help you get started. Join us on our forum or the live chat for feedback and support, or just a friendly word. And if you are lucky enough not to have any toxic people in your life, why not find out how you can help those of us who do? Or how you can help us help.

Good luck on your journey, dear Swan!

we love to read your comments below

While I may technically be the Director here at SwanWaters, my unofficial title is Healing Cheerleader! I’m a survivor of childhood emotional abuse and workplace bullying. And believe me when I say that I’ve walked the walk when it comes to healing from trauma. I firmly believe that we can undo some of the damage that abuse has done to us, and learn the necessary skills to handle life and all it brings us.

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